I trust that you wouldn't want to, but there's this bit between you being sane and going mental that... Oh for god's sake I even did it! I knew what I could use against him, but I didn't care that it was wrong, I only knew that I needed him out of the way.

That's what I'm worried about, it happening again and that brief period of time when you'll be as sharp as anything, but lack any sort of conscience and see me as a threat.